Monday, April 27, 2015

The Taxonomy of Celebrity Encounters (Supplemental Post)

I've been thinking about the few celebrity encounters I've had, and I think I've been able to classify them into a few groups in terms of my own reactions to the meeting. I've included lists of celebrities based on my own feelings about celebrities, so I hope that the description of the group will suffice.

Group 1: The "Yikes"
Celebrities included in this group: Kim Kardashian, Tila Tequila, Perez Hilton.
Description: People you'd generally avoid. If they sat next to you on a bus, you'd slide a seat over. Not sure why, you just get that vibe. You get the sense that you would not be good friends with this person, just because.

Group 2: The "Eh."
Celebrities included: Ryan Seacrest, Jay Leno, Jessica Chastain, Roseanne Barr.
Description: If you were walking down the street and this person walks past, you could stop, but you're probably late to something. Or it couldn't hurt to be early.

Group 3: The "I think I care desperately about you despite never having seen you before now"
Celebrities included: Emma Stone, Meryl Streep, Dylan O'Brien.
Description: This is where it's at. Your celebrity crushes, the people you would love to have lunch with, and the people you'll fly across the country to see for 90 minutes in a cramped broadway theater.

Group 4: The "Oh... wait. WAIT. YOU'RE ON SHAMELESS."
Celebrities included: Brenda Song, Ewen McGregor.
Description: You don't care about these people individually, but they were in The Suite Life of Zach and Cody! or Moulin Rouge! How exciting! Maybe they're a gateway-star, where you could meet a group three-er like Nicole Kidman.

Group 5: The "Oh man I don't want to talk to you but my snapchat story needs you on it"
Celebrities included: Dylan and/or Cole Sprouse, Nicolas Cage.
Description: These are also celebrities that are, for all intents and purposes, irrelevant. But if you had a fleece blanket with their face on it, or if you tweeted a picture of the two of you together, the pure novelty of it would be a hoot!

Feel free to add categories in the comments!

1 comment:

  1. Ha! This is great. I totally have these categories sorted through my head when I meet or see famous people. Most of the time I don't want to bother them but sometimes the celebrity sighting is way to great to ignore. I recently saw Usher at a restaurant and he sat at the table behind me so I had my friend take a photo of me with Usher photo bombing in the background. This totally fell into the "Oh man I don't want to talk to you but my Snapchat story needs you on it." But when I saw Aaron Paul not only did I ask him for a picture but we made a funny pose together. The best celebrity sightings are the ones that you absolutely love for your own unique reason and they aren't super famous. That way you feel like you can actually make a lasting impression (even if that's not true).

    I thought of two more categories.

    "The Faint"
    Celebrities Included: Beyonce, Brad Pitt, Oprah
    Description: These celebrities are way too famous to even be in their presence. You lose all abilities to talk to said person and you acknowledge that you aren't on the same human level.

    "The Picture/Video That Could Make News"
    Celebrities and Descriptions: Twerking with Miley Cyrus, Getting Aaron Paul to call you "Bitch", Taking a selfie with Obama

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